Lately, I have felt exhausted.
It is probably related to many things, not the least of which is my current pregnancy. Yes, growing an alien being inside one’s body does tend to drain one.
But, this is as much a mental and emotional drain as anything.
It could be related to the fact that we are in the process of trying to buy a house. Nothing like adding a little life-change to the life-changes in progress!
But, this can be traced back to a single source. A digital source.
Like so many of my fellow citizens, I have been disheartened, enraged, dumbfounded and disappointed in turns by the recent political events in our nation. Like so many, I feel powerless to stop so many of the relentless news items of the past few weeks. I’ve been uplifted by small victories, by shows of solidarity, and by friends and co-workers all doing their quiet, steady best to stand against the seeming tidal wave of crap.
I have been able to access so many of these small victories through my Facebook feed. I have also been able to engage in some debates-so far mainly with family members!-through the same feed.
I find these debates exhausting. I have been preoccupied with composing my responses. I’ve been alternately angry and annoyed at the comments to some of my posts. (I asked for that, no? I did post articles and opinions to this mostly-public forum.) I have spent a lot of time engaging with those comments. Working my words like clay, into civil. (hopefully) thoughtful responses infused with as much kindness and good humor as I can muster. I am so tired.
What’s more, I find that these engagements are distracting me from other, necessary work. So, I am asking a question again that I have asked many times before: does social networking drain my work-life balance? I certainly feel off-kilter.
Though it is difficult to engage with friends and family about these current political issues, I also feel very strongly that I ought not avoid it entirely. (I did briefly fantasize about deleted ALL my social media accounts!) Though it is difficult, it is needed. And if I cannot or will not speak up about issues in a rational, kind way, who will? I at least, need to do my best on this front.
For now, I am going to stay off of Facebook. At least until I get the next batch of papers graded!